But the vision that has evolved of him over the past few days has warmed my heart.
He is a Google searcher, who has gone to my post, The "Force This!: Jedi Simulation Correspondence Course" four times now. And for three of those times, he has used the following set of keywords:
"how to get the force in you like a real jedi"
I love him. And I don't know what I love more, the "how to get the force in you" or the heavy, optimistic implications of "like a REAL jedi."
I picture this eight-year-old boy who's devoted himself to Jedi research, hoping to best his besties over the summer by coming back to school in Fall sporting a serious Jedi mind trick.
Will Moose Martin be giving him swirlies again in the boys' room come September?
Will Reed and Harrison, Jr. and Big Andre be cornering him in the lunchroom and stealing his SunnyD again?
And will Mr. Renfrew be lecturing him on sitting still in class even though he has a note from his mom about the ADD and the peanut allergies and everything?
No. Because he will have uncovered the secrets to getting the Force in him like a real Jedi.
And he knows, if the information were out there to show him how to unlock ancient, mystical intergalactic powers, there could be only one place you would find it:
So you can imagine my delight when after witnessing his two days of relentless searching, I saw my wonderful new friend had amended his search to try to get more specific results:
"what does the force look like on your hand like a jedi"
Because, as any kid knows, having the wrong hand gesture is the only thing that stands between us and proper superpowers.
I mean, I recall knowing deep in my soul that the reason I could not explode in a flaming ball of special effects and come out wearing my superheroic Wonder Woman outfit was because I was not spinning around properly.
It was either not fast enough, not slow enough, my balance was off... something. I just wasn't doing it right. Otherwise, right now I would be typing this from my Invisible Jet.
(The Jet has wireless these days. C'mon, you know it.)
This is kid logic, and it fills my soul with joy. It is the essence of summer. The days of long hikes, and good friends, and magic, and playing pretend. It is a glimpse into a world I didn't quite think existed any more.
Perhaps it does, only now it's supported by online research.
So to my new friend, I say, have fun but don't forget to embrace the inner-Jedi you already have inside... Through your quest, you have proven to be resourceful and determined, qualities that will help you well in life on this planet.
And if, instead, you happen to be a 30-year-old man living in your mother's basement, please-- don't tell me. I never did perfect that Wonder Woman spin; I don't think I could take another big disappointment.