Peer pressure... As an adult, I sorta expected to be done with that. But after too many respected online friends explained how Facebook was where all the "cool kids" hung out, I decided to update that old empty profile of mine.
Which was odd, since my school career pretty much ran toward the individualistically "tepid."
Anyway, so I hit Facebook, found friends, felt welcome. But I'm still puzzled about some things:
- Who are these "3 people in Gibsonia who think I'm stupid" and why do they want me to take an IQ test? I mean, in school, when kids called each other stupid, we never had to deflect it with standardized testing. Just a few "sez you's" and "I know you are but what am I's." Today's kids apparently require evidentiary support.
- Why does Facebook keep asking "why some celebrities look so young" like it's the riddle of the Sphinx? Miss Celebrity, meet Mr. Scalpel and Miss Liposuction. It's so simple, I don't even need those smarties in Gibsonia to explain it. Incidentally, a positive way to represent young-looking celebs? Is not Jennifer Aniston puffing like a chimney on her Virginia Slims. Just sayin'.
- What does Facebook have against sheep? And why do people keep lobbing them at me? Since arriving on Facebook, I have been struck by several sheep, a groundhog, Poked, Superpoked, possibly UltraSuperMegaPoked, and encouraged to catapult various creatures of the hoofed persuasion myself. I blame Monty Python for this. Ever since the Great Livestock Lobbing of 1013, things haven't been the same. Just please, please, please remember, before you lob-- give fleece a chance. Not that I'm a fan of PETA, but I can't believe they haven't gotten involved yet.
- Is button addiction curable? My scoliosis in high school may have, in part, been due to the sheer weight of my purse from the number of pithy buttons I'd pinned there. (Doctors should look into this sort of thing.) On Facebook, I seem to have reinstated the addiction with an application called "Pieces of Flair"-- virtual buttons for all occasions. I've made my own buttons. I've coveted others' buttons. Friends give me buttons and I am powerless to deny them. I must have them. All of them. I must put them on my virtual corkboard. I must display them for all to admire. Anyone know of a good Anti-Flair Addiction Support Group?
- I have been bitten by vampires and they want to recruit me for the Vampire Cause. What should I do? See, on the down side, I'm not really a joiner. If everyone else is out slaughtering villages and plotting to eradicate the human race to create a brave new vampire world, I'm just not as inspired to rampage, too. On the plus side, I imagine I'd get some really elegant clothes, great hair (Evil always has excellent hair), and get to live in an abandoned mansion. So I'm torn.
Well, those are the main questions about Facebook that I have right now. I'm actually feeling pretty good considering the vampire bite and a slight concussion from a sheep to the head.
How are you Facebookies faring?